They had been living in IKEA for 6 mos. now.

They had been living in IKEA for 6 mos. now. They ate .99 cent Swedish meatballs everyday and lounged in the model front rooms. When they got sick of a decor, they just walked to

the Kittles furniture outlet warehouse and visited the Smithsons, who were living in "The Progressive" living room set. Nobody believed in the Phantom of Aisle 13, but

Lady Smithson swore to Jupiter that she herself had taken tea with the Phantom, just down Aisle 13 from the Smithson's, over in "Children's Cosmetics." She insisted the Phantom was

bad makeovers that were driving customers away from the MAC counter. This irritated her to no end.

Blanche had won the regional MAC employee of the year since 2005 - quite a feat for a 50-something Macy's cosmetics shrew. Ever since they hired Tammie from the ho-to-retail

an inch of whore makeup. And whore thongs sticking out of her whorish short shorts. She even put up her hair like a whore. There was absolutely no doubt that Tammie was a whore.

Unfortunately she was also a Keebler elf and incompetent. Ernie tried her in cookie forming but she didn't cut it. She also couldn't rise to baking. She misunderstood sandwiching

and wasn't much good in the frosting dept either. "I'm not fit to be a Keebler elf" she told her mother. Nonsense, her mother said and gave her a big hug

that your thoughts reflect your actions. Think well and it may happen. She smiled at her mother and hugged her back.