Gilbert was a very large man but gentle in

Gilbert was a very large man but gentle in his stride

rite shoes. Although well into his 40's, Gilbert insisted on wearing Stride Rites to soothe his volatile temper. Perhaps it was some Freudian need he had? Women found "Gil" to be

adorably childlike, with his chubby cheeks & high baby voice. "I want Candy!" Gil squealed. "And I want her NOW!" When Candy didn't appear, Gil threw a tantrum right there in the

stripclub. "Candy's off today." The owner tried hide her disgust. "Get her here, NOW. Or I'll sue." Gil said. That's what they got for naming dancers after foodstuffs. Broccoli was

pole dancing sluggishly while Gil waited for Candy to arrive. Donut Hole approached him, her face slack with exhaustion, makeup smeared. "Lap dance?" Gil shook his head irritably.

Candy was the only reason Gil came to the strip club. For 85, she was still pretty limber and the highway of wrinkles and sagging flesh really turned him on. "Looking for me?" she

called, waving her arm in the air. Gil walked over as Candy gleamed his wrinkly smile. "Come 'ere you!" From then on I decided to move on. I could no longer stalk this old man any

more than I could stalk my own grandma. Mind, Grandma used to joke that Grandpa stalked her for 30 years, until she finally gave in & married him, at which point he lost interest

in trying to grow the rare albino rhubarb. It was like a Freudian dream to see his mother in a bikini harvesting rhubarb. But alas he was now married, his mother was going to