If your bored and you know it type in here...

If your bored and you know it type in here... I am,

Umad

so i looked at your feet

and thought they were Sasquatches

but they were just men in furry winter coats & big galoshes. I was relieved, but then they came for me & tied me to a toboggan with hemp rope: they were the Tobbogan Bandits!

So I quickly cut my hands off with my razor sharp shoes to untie myself and decapitated all the bandits' heads off. Running for my life to the nearest hospital I feinted and found

-ered because the razor shoes did not give proper ankle support. During the surgery I woke up. Before the incision they shaved my belly hair with my razor shoes because they'd

forgotten their own surgical instruments (thanks Obamacare). Problem was, my razor shoes were not sterilized. Two days after my operation, I was one hot mess. My ankles still hurt

and my vagina's bloody. Why can't Obama wave a magic wand and fix everything? Why don't the poor just work more? They should pay for my medical, not the other way around.