It was a night just like any other. I had

It was a night just like any other. I had two slugs, one in my magnum, and the other in a bottle of whiskey. I kicked my feet up on the desk to take a nap, when she walked in...

she helped herself to the bottle of whiskey I had on the table, only to quickly spit it out in disgust when she found the live slug I had placed inside it. She had legs that could

tolerating her grating personality and obnoxious laugh. "So you'll find the monkey? Oooo you are SO grand, so absolutely GRAAAND. Ayuckyuk." I nearly shot her, but took the money..

and pocketed it. It wasn't long, a few seconds maybe, before I noticed the tingling in my fingers. "What- what did you do?" I gasped as my body was overcome with numbness. But then

I realized that I never had a body in the first place. All my life I have floating among space seeking adventure and new friends. It had its high and lows, but it was mostly

marked by profound sadness at my lack of genitals and my inability to consume ice cream sundaes. Sure, adventure is fine, but I'd like one day of self-pleasure and chocolate sauce

cascading down a row of erotic grandmothers who knew only how to get down in the brown. Playing Keno with the Boys & Girls Club kids will have to do for now. One particular child

told the erotic grandmothers that he hated, loathed black licorice and that you could only develop a taste for it by living in a time in which candy really had not been invented.

But they never intended for him to eat it, instead tying him to the bedposts and whipping his bare chest with it and he soon developed a taste for it none-the-less.