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Environmental concerned Hindus decided rather

  • Environmental concerned Hindus decided rather than worshipping the smelly cow they would worship the kangaroo. The kangaroo ate grass all day but does not fart. Greenhouse gases

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  • were scarce around Australia, therefore the kangaroo was godly. The environmentalist Hindus further declared that koalas were sacred because they eat eucalyptus which is an invasiv

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  • e dietary habit. The EnvironDus were a cult that worshiped marsupials. But the koalas carried a virus and when the EnvironDu High Priest hugged the Koala for Fistmas

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  • he died. Traditionally, the EnvironDu High Priest's funeral needed to be held in the exact place he had passed. Mourners wore yellow with black spotted robes to mark the occasion

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  • Trees were planted on the spot until a whole forest was seeded, much to the delight of Joni Mitchell, who sang "Big Yellow Taxi" to bless them. She wore her indigo robe and hat.

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  • But the trees grew and grew until Joni could not see the forest due to the trees. The gnarled roots and brambly undergrowth caught in her blue robe & no Taxi yellow or otherwise

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  • she would have been undistinguishable from the forest that seemed to choke her. Joni cried out, and stumbled forward. She tripped over a crooked root and collapsed to the earth

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  • & the vines started wrapping themselves around her. It wasn’t only vines, either. The pine needles coalesced into a staggered phalanx formation of the 3rd Gallic Legion. The forest

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  • was giving her the finger! "What did I do to deserve this awful fate," she yelped as the vines constructed around her and the woodland creatures began stoking the oven of her doom.

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  • Okay...so, I'm exaggerating slightly...what can I tell you...wooden creatures give me the creeps...besides, if anyone sticks that middle finger at me again...well...I will go nuts!

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