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School was about to suck when all of a sudden

  • School was about to suck when all of a sudden I ran into the wall. Yep it sucked sooner than I thought and it only began.

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  • I became part of the wall. All in all, I was just another brick in the wall. I don't need no education. I don't need no thought control. And since I was positioned 2 feet above the

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  • height of my father, I didn't need him either. I needed nothing. Purely self-sufficient. I needed no stinking badges. I needed no friends. I needed no food. I needed no love.

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  • All I needed were the sweet, sweet tunes of Cyndi Lauper. "Cyndi!" I cried, "How do I show my true colours? Everybody laughs at me when I sing your song, and now my dad hates me!"

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  • "If you're lost you can look, and you will find me... time after time." The ghost of Cyndi Lauper's eyeshadow emerged from the girl's poster as she cried into her soggy pillow.

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  • Cyndi was so surprised that she stopped sobbing and jumped up. She had never seen a ghost before. Then the ghost said "I can take you anywhere you want." "Really?" Cyndi asked.

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  • "PSYCH!" the ghost yelled before grabbing Cyndi's hand. Instantly they were somewhere she'd never been. "I can only take you to ONE place. Welcome, dear Cyndi, to your new home,

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  • Papua New Guinea!" Cyndi ululated spontaneously. "I don't want to live here!" "Too bad," jeered the ghost, "you can never leave." Cackling, he shackled his rattling chains to her.

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  • After four nights of listening to Cyndi's ululations, the ghost decided to unshackle her. She was waking the dead and making them awfully cranky. Cyndi wandered Papua as a beggar,

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  • at first, until her monumental bestseller hit the bookshelves. "I Was Held Captive by Ghosts & Moaned for Them" was an instant hit & transformed Cyndi into Papua's #1 strongman.

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