School was about to suck when all of a sudden

School was about to suck when all of a sudden I ran into the wall. Yep it sucked sooner than I thought and it only began.

I became part of the wall. All in all, I was just another brick in the wall. I don't need no education. I don't need no thought control. And since I was positioned 2 feet above the

height of my father, I didn't need him either. I needed nothing. Purely self-sufficient. I needed no stinking badges. I needed no friends. I needed no food. I needed no love.

All I needed were the sweet, sweet tunes of Cyndi Lauper. "Cyndi!" I cried, "How do I show my true colours? Everybody laughs at me when I sing your song, and now my dad hates me!"

"If you're lost you can look, and you will find me... time after time." The ghost of Cyndi Lauper's eyeshadow emerged from the girl's poster as she cried into her soggy pillow.

"PSYCH!" the ghost yelled before grabbing Cyndi's hand. Instantly they were somewhere she'd never been. "I can only take you to ONE place. Welcome, dear Cyndi, to your new home,

Papua New Guinea!" Cyndi ululated spontaneously. "I don't want to live here!" "Too bad," jeered the ghost, "you can never leave." Cackling, he shackled his rattling chains to her.

After four nights of listening to Cyndi's ululations, the ghost decided to unshackle her. She was waking the dead and making them awfully cranky. Cyndi wandered Papua as a beggar,

at first, until her monumental bestseller hit the bookshelves. "I Was Held Captive by Ghosts & Moaned for Them" was an instant hit & transformed Cyndi into Papua's #1 strongman.