"Is this really part of Ayurveda massage?"

  • "Is this really part of Ayurveda massage?" Tiffany asked as her masseur sucked the silver toe rings off her foot. Bagavad wagged his head noncommittally and

  • simply looked on and said "To achieve true well being it's important to release yourself from all fears and taboos" And so Tiffany laid back, but the masseur choked on the toering

  • and vomited all over Tiffany and the massage table. He stopped Tiffany from walking out by saying, this is called Hot Regurgitation Therapy. It's an ancient Indian technique which

  • you take a thick stick and put it into da throat. It helps relax da muscle, and if you let me finish this Therapy you can leave. But itll cost fifty dolla.

  • The witch doctor drove a hard bargain. Perhaps it was the ganja, or perhaps some witch-doctor spell, but I accepted; "So, all I do is shove my thick stick down the throat, and

  • wiggle my ass while singing Dude Looks Like a Lady? OK, I think I can do that." Taking the stick from the witch doctor's clawlike fingers, I returned to Cincinnati and strategized.

  • I dumped a bag of sand and grit on my kitchen floor, then drew a big circle in it. I took the witch doctor's stick and invoked Pelagia, Goddess of Crossdressers to come to my aid.

  • Six tubes if glitter and one fabulous par of high heels later, I was walking down my driveway with renewed confidence. Nothing could stop me now. Or so I thought. That's when Fabio

  • pulled up in his Dodge Dart. 'Really? that's what UR wearing?' he sneered as he flung his girly hair around. I was tired of this, of him, he always used my mousse anyway. 'I'm not

  • dating wimpy men any more. Next time I want a guy who's in touch with his feminine side, remind me to shave my mustache and find a real man, one who is not afraid of a little S&M.



  1. MangoMania Feb 28 2013 @ 11:59

    CrazyBananas, I would expect Fabio to pull up riding a horse holding some I can't believe it's not butter, but Dodge Dart works too.

  2. CrazyBananas Feb 28 2013 @ 12:02

    See, that's what people expect....I thought the Dodge Dart was much more crafty. That's me...I like pancakes, craftiness and Graters Ice Cream....and using glitter.

  3. MangoMania Feb 28 2013 @ 12:11

    Graeter's! Nice Cincinnati reference goes well with PurpleProfs' fold except instead of ice cream it is "think stick" down the throat.

  4. SlimWhitman Mar 02 2013 @ 14:49

    Dodge Dart - quality car. Our family's first car bought from a little old lady, was a sky blue Dodge Dart with those rocket shaped tail lights. You could see the street through the backseat floor. Fun to drop gum drops through - don't tell mom.

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