They're eating her, and then they're going

  • They're eating her, and then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD!!!!!!!! Why

  • did I buy carnivorous goldfish? I could hear them flopping down the hall towards my room. "Hello, 911? Goldy and Mr. Finnegan are trying to eat me. I'm seriou..." *click*

  • "Alright, it's all up to me," I told me. "Gotta use your instincts. Never give up." The door was closed, and the carnivorous goldfish were now flopping into it. Then silence.

  • More silence. Deadly silence. Scaly gill pulsing silence... It was the silence of the goldfish. What were those carnivorous Cypriniformes up to? I spied through the keyhole

  • but it was blocked. Someone had stuffed a ball of fish scales in the keyhole. I opened the door. Little trails of water criss-crossed the floor. My pillow was wet. The goldfish swa

  • llowed the cyanide capsule I'd left out for it together with a glass of Armagnac and a loaded revolver."I'll never swim in the ocean blue again," it's little fishy voice burbled

  • as it took a sip of wine chased with cyanide. "The ocean…" It choked on the phrase left unsaid, its tiny fins grabbing the gun for a final shooting spree. Silver bullets pierced my

  • feet and the dreams I had for the future. If I lived, I'd cancel my season pass to Sea World. But for now, the fish stood in my puddle of blood and gasped it's final breath and

  • fished at me with its twitching fins. I fled, slipping, and left behind wet red footprints. To cancel my pass to Seaworld, I'd have to get out of this place alive first.

  • I made a plan & dashed for the whale exhibit. I jumped on one's blow-hole and waited. Soon enough it shot me high into the sky and I watched as Seaworld shrank to a dot.



  1. SlimWhitman Aug 25 2015 @ 16:49

    Original escape. But Silence of The Gold Fish will surely have a sequel...

  2. grok Sep 08 2015 @ 11:28

    I didn't come up with any ideas, until I googled "A Static Lullaby", and managed to fit in both the title and 2 lines from their song "A Sip Of Wine Chased With Cyanide", in a single fold! Haven't listened to the song though. Anyone know them?

  3. PurpleProf Sep 17 2015 @ 11:58

    HAHA!! Just reread this one. Love it! (Gotta get back to class, gotta get back to class, gotta get off FS and gotta get back to class...)

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