They're eating her, and then they're going

They're eating her, and then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD!!!!!!!! Why

did I buy carnivorous goldfish? I could hear them flopping down the hall towards my room. "Hello, 911? Goldy and Mr. Finnegan are trying to eat me. I'm seriou..." *click*

"Alright, it's all up to me," I told me. "Gotta use your instincts. Never give up." The door was closed, and the carnivorous goldfish were now flopping into it. Then silence.

More silence. Deadly silence. Scaly gill pulsing silence... It was the silence of the goldfish. What were those carnivorous Cypriniformes up to? I spied through the keyhole

but it was blocked. Someone had stuffed a ball of fish scales in the keyhole. I opened the door. Little trails of water criss-crossed the floor. My pillow was wet. The goldfish swa

llowed the cyanide capsule I'd left out for it together with a glass of Armagnac and a loaded revolver."I'll never swim in the ocean blue again," it's little fishy voice burbled

as it took a sip of wine chased with cyanide. "The ocean…" It choked on the phrase left unsaid, its tiny fins grabbing the gun for a final shooting spree. Silver bullets pierced my

fished at me with its twitching fins. I fled, slipping, and left behind wet red footprints. To cancel my pass to Seaworld, I'd have to get out of this place alive first.

I made a plan & dashed for the whale exhibit. I jumped on one's blow-hole and waited. Soon enough it shot me high into the sky and I watched as Seaworld shrank to a dot.