"Your Great Uncle died and left you his record

"Your Great Uncle died and left you his record collection, library of books, and film archive." The lawyer then flung a flash drive across the desk. "If you would just sign here."

The lawyer handed him a stylus and digital signature pad. Grizzly Adams looked at the lawyer. He looked at the "flash drive" containing his uncle's media empire and said

"Well I just don't know what to say." Grizzly Adams had a grizzled sort of voice that sounded like the processors of the digital tech the lawyer handed him were filled with sand.

...wait, lemme try that again. The lawyer handed him a processor full of sand that resembled Grizzly Adams' voice. No, that's not right either. Um...

"Oh, here it is, I knew I had it somewhere. Sorry about the rusty flanges, My wife was using it as a booster. I think you'll find it still quite functional though" Sandy took the c

. "Um, may I ask a dumb question? the patient asked. "You just did," replied Sandy,"But what is your next dumb question." "Um, OK. I was just wondering what those rusty flanges are

for? I mean they aren't used in the procedure, right?" I giggled very uncomfortably. Sandy just looked at me stone cold and sneered"We'll see, now put this on." She threw a dirty

hospital gown at me and waited for me to undress in front of her. I was really starting to wonder if I had chosen the right doctor for such a special procedure, but I was

sure this was the only doctor that could remove Squawkers from my, uhm, you know. It was completely accidental that I slipped and fell on that poor and adorable parakeet.