I always wondered how the course of human

I always wondered how the course of human history would have diverged had "David" not been nude. I hired a local sculptor and some Renaissance fair actors to live out my fantasy.

Unfortunately I only had about 80 bucks so, basically all I got was a ceramic foot of "David." But with this foot I could

finally complete my robot doppelganger which I have been working on for the past 25 years. With the "David" foot in place, nothing would be able to stop me from

winning the "grooviest moves" award at the Ben Franklin Prep School annual Father-Daughter dance. My real dad just didn't have what it takes to beat Kaylee Jones, but RoboDad did!

So RoboDad and I were busting out Thriller on the dance floor when my real dad burst in through the gymnasium doors and was extremely angry that I left him at home. When he saw

RoboDad and I dancing together he fell to his knees and sobbed. "Why son? Why?" His tears slowly filled the room and all of our fellow dancers started treading water until the next

garbled "Hizeee, Honzeee I'mmz Hoommeee..." I leaped onto the top of the coach to avoid the electrofied water. Robodad sparked as the ceiling caught fire. "Wararr, mize slipprz?"

I burrowed frantically under couch cushions for the Robodad remote. But when I found it & pressed deactivate, it said "Please enter access code". By the time I'd entered "smorg"

, he had already penetrated me from behind like a pure breed race horse. I could feel him pulsating inside me while I thought on how this was the best & worst part of my life.