55

The electric eraser vibrated in my hand,

  • The electric eraser vibrated in my hand, taking the pencil from the page as if it had never been there. On a whim, I held it up and pointed it at the wall, which disappeared and

    5
  • and this big red pitcher blasted through the wall screaming, "Hey Kool Aid!" When the dust settled there was asbestos in everyone's drink. So I hired a lawyer, and

    3
  • sued for mesothelioma - even though I didn't have it. The worst reaction I had was a temporary stain from the spilled juice that left my face as red as a baboon's butt for three

    6
  • seconds, when I realized that the white cranberry juice didn't leave stains. So mesothelioma or not, I was going to stick out this lawsuit, simply because I

    5
  • well, needed an oxygen tank and coughed up bits of tissue constantly.

    6
  • First Kleenex, and then whole multi-colored silk ribbons pushed forth from his mouth. They rushed him to the ER. They pulled a rabbit out of his lower intestine. And then they saw,

    5
  • obviously the problem was this set of surgical-quality forceps that had been accidently sewn in by the previous surgeon. "No need to include that in the report, nurse Stacy."

    7
  • Nurse Stacy pressed backspace, deleting the words. "Doctor," she asked inquisitively, "Where do the letters go when you erase them?" She peered into the floppy disk slot, searching

    7
  • for the slot where the second piece of bread went in. "This is the strangest toaster I've ever seen," Nurse Stacy quipped. "It is a computer," said the Doctor. Stacy looked like

    6
  • a confused puppy as she sounded out the syllables, "com..pu...ter. What's that?" The doctor resolved then and there to stop hiring his nurses from the Loboto Work Temp Agency.

    5

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!