The electric eraser vibrated in my hand,

The electric eraser vibrated in my hand, taking the pencil from the page as if it had never been there. On a whim, I held it up and pointed it at the wall, which disappeared and

and this big red pitcher blasted through the wall screaming, "Hey Kool Aid!" When the dust settled there was asbestos in everyone's drink. So I hired a lawyer, and

sued for mesothelioma - even though I didn't have it. The worst reaction I had was a temporary stain from the spilled juice that left my face as red as a baboon's butt for three

seconds, when I realized that the white cranberry juice didn't leave stains. So mesothelioma or not, I was going to stick out this lawsuit, simply because I

well, needed an oxygen tank and coughed up bits of tissue constantly.

First Kleenex, and then whole multi-colored silk ribbons pushed forth from his mouth. They rushed him to the ER. They pulled a rabbit out of his lower intestine. And then they saw,

obviously the problem was this set of surgical-quality forceps that had been accidently sewn in by the previous surgeon. "No need to include that in the report, nurse Stacy."

for the slot where the second piece of bread went in. "This is the strangest toaster I've ever seen," Nurse Stacy quipped. "It is a computer," said the Doctor. Stacy looked like

a confused puppy as she sounded out the syllables, "com..pu...ter. What's that?" The doctor resolved then and there to stop hiring his nurses from the Loboto Work Temp Agency.