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It's amazing thinking back to when people

  • It's amazing thinking back to when people had unlimited water. I remember just letting the hose run and run, water flowing endlessly into the dark green grass. Since the drought

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  • , I invested in hovercrafts and pulled in my own personal berg. So while the rabble beg for a drop in the hot sun, I have it made in the shade. Sno-Cone?

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  • Dwarfs my island, had since 07 from what i made selling nuke briefcases. Peering over my berg cooled Mojito at the mainland beach suckers. Why so pissed? Oh wow that guy's real..

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  • My island is shrinking. Woops. It melted. Wait the ocean is getting shallow and tastes like Rum! Huh? There's a drainpipe at the bottom of the ocean? Aggh! It's sucking me in!

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  • Through a vast network of pipes and tunnels, dug deep into the ocean floor, I twist and tumble for countless days. Finally I'm spat out again, waterlogged, into a gargantuan cavern

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  • built by Kubla Khan when they really knew how to build caverns. Dripping, I walked up to the Xanadu passport control booth. "Purpose of your visit?" snapped the Immigration Newt

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  • with the oversized monobrow, "and why are you so wet?" "Nevermind, that's over now, I am visiting Xanadu for business and pleasure, hurry up and let me through"

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  • "Not so fast Mortal!" A flaming sword came up close to my face. "None shall pass except those who can answer this riddle, what would Jesus do?" I didn't realize Xanadu had come

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  • with riddlers, "idyllic utopia" my ass. I muttered, "Turn the other cheek," and the riddler hit my cheek with the flaming sword. He asked again, "WWJD?" Damn, infinite loop. Xanadu

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  • was now out of my reach. I had committed far too many sins and regretted none of them. I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. Hahahahahahahhaaaaaaa!!!!

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