Looks like there was more wet here now than

Looks like there was more wet here now than this past summer, Eddie thought to himself, moving closer to the edge but fearful to get too close to the

edge of the river. The water had risen more than three feet in the past month. Whatever was causing the melt up at the top of the mountain wasn't related to Eddie's love life.

challenge Death to a game. He was really pretty awful at games, but at least this way, he could say he went out with a fight. He was considering "Connect Four" as the means.

Problem was, Death always picked the black set of checkers. Sal never won when

this happened, as he was an extreme Progressive who would not contribute to white supremacy, even in checkers.

"I will lay down my life for a mixed-bouillon standard!" he screamed, jangling a purse of silver and gold coins. "As an antiquated historical politico, I assert

chicken and beef stock forver!" They lined him against the wall, no so much for his dictatorship, but for his terrible puns. "Any last verds?" said the rebel captain.

"Just one. Oh wait, that was already two. Fuck. Shit. Fuck!" This was met with raucous laughter, and ex-dictator knew he'd blown his one chance to say something truly funny.

It was bad enough that he was no longer the feared and loved President for Life, but this was new humiliation. He looked up at Trump, helpless, as he heard "Your fired."