The thick, tea-dark water bubbled ominously

The thick, tea-dark water bubbled ominously as Jenna dipped her toe into it. "I don't know, Josh" she said, nervously looking back at her boyfriend on the trash-strewn beach, "I'm

feeling reluctant." This was a good example of why Josh hated his girlfriend so much. I mean, WHO uses words like "reluctant" in normal conversation? His mouth smiled but his eyes

showed such disinterest that he knew his feelings were obvious. "Just say it, Josh, I know what you're thinking." She said. "Fine," he replied, "If you don't like it kinky, then we

-'ll use the straightener!" Josh felt twisted inside. He was proud of the Afro. It was a symbol of strength. She on the other hand would always bend to social norms. So he picked u

gly Amber up from school to ask what she though. She didn't collapse under peer pressure. No-one could tell her to ditch the overalls, no matter what! "Jenny wants to straighten my

penis with a cast iron bacon press heated to 450 degrees Fahrenheit." The roomful of Catholic priests and nuns ignored her vulgar comments and started playing musical chairs.

"Don't you think that 450 degrees is a bit extreme?" She asked. At that precise moment, Sister Mary Catherine sat on a chair at the same time as Father Bubba, and the chair broke.

They crashed to the ground together in a tangle of broken wooden chair bits, and Sister Mary glared at Father Bubba, opening her mouth to berate him, and said

"You were supposed to fix this years ago!" Of course, his henchmen couldn' t work for peanuts, so nothing was done. Only one was alive now. They had to call the carpenter

he was he only one who had a hammer and nails to finally shut the coffin. Soon it would be over and the demon would be sealed away for the next thousand years.