How to Erotically Caress a Nose. 1) Breathe.

  • How to Erotically Caress a Nose. 1) Breathe. Breathing's important. 2) To avoid startling the subject, approach from sideways on. 3) Position the nose at a 50 degree angle. 4) Shak

  • e nose very gently. Especially if you have a long schnoz. You don't want to poke an eye out! . 5) some like to wear a french nose tickler. Resist the urge. When erotically caressin

  • g pearl onions a giant nose only enhances the sensuality. It can lead to hedonistic mania. 6) Use your thumb nails to squeeze out all the black heads on the nose. 9)

  • Pluck any stray nose hairs. 10) Dry your eyes, and finish chopping pearl onions. Add to large pot along with several sprigs of parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. 11) Remember to

  • save the liver! While this is all simmering, pit the prunes & prepare the pie crust for dessert. 12) Puree the saved liver and add 2 cups of prunes gradually. You must sing an aria

  • from Carmine, "Toreador" which is the right amount of time. 13) Stuff the prunes and liver puree into a prepared goat while the moon is full 14) Set the fireplace to

  • ...set the fireplace to "burning," because the house should have a more rustic look 15) Make sure the moon is full, because god knows satan likes a full moon 16) say these words:

  • Klaatu berada nikto, Gort. 17) Bark like a chicken and howl at the full moon while you wait for the reply. 18) Set your hair on fire. 19) Stop drop and roll.

  • (20)When that hotline bling, don't answer 21)If attacked by a mob of clowns go for the juggler 22)Always trust people with big butts-they cannot lie 23)Make better bad decisions

  • 24) Limit self to 24 New Years Resolutions. "Done!" I triumphed, signing the list. My attorney-wife scowled as she reviewed it, then stood and tossed the list into the fireplace.



  1. SlimWhitman Jan 18 2016 @ 15:52

    which was conveniently set to "rustic burn"...

  2. lucielucie Jan 18 2016 @ 16:33

    Is that true about people with big butts?

  3. hamstak Jan 18 2016 @ 16:52

    @lucielucie: As a small-butted person who always lies, my answer is yes.

  4. SlimWhitman Jan 18 2016 @ 16:58

    My geometry teacher said if a statement is true then so is its contraposition, but I don't believe her.

  5. lucielucie Jan 22 2016 @ 16:45

    I think erotic nose caressing was invented by Jefforama.

  6. m80 Jan 22 2016 @ 23:57

    Well, Purple Prof????

  7. m80 Jan 23 2016 @ 00:03

    Ms. Lucie, now that I think about it, a more accurate statement would have been, "always trust people who like big butts--they cannot lie" which I know is true because Sir Mix A Lot says so in "Baby Got Back".

  8. lucielucie Jan 23 2016 @ 04:40

    Thanks for backing your assertions with solid evidence, M80, I appreciate it. I suspect a lot of stuff on this site is just made up.

  9. Chaz Jan 23 2016 @ 12:31

    I always trust the Constitution, the Bible, and FoldingStory.

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