If a go to the cinema

If a go to the cinema

then I will order a large popcorn with a free refill. If I sit in the front row of the theater

I will see the massive heads of the actors on the screen without any visual interference from other customers. Once I have eaten my popcorn and my free refill

I will head over to the projector room. Wait? Who is that! I was supposed to be the only one here! I'm sure I locked the main theater doors....right? Maybe I should go over there..

Stale popcorn crunched under my feet as I made my way cautiously up to the projector room, the dim light of the NO EXIT sign flickering behind me. Suddenly a shadowy figure loomed

over me. I shut my eyes, waiting for the loud bang of a gun or the piercing pain of a bullet; nothing happens. It's just a 2D cardboard cutout of

a sniper with an angry emoticon face. From what depthless pit did this augury of doom crawl? The 2D cardboard sniper summons his firing squad; I fear their bullets cause paper cuts

weapons, they are surprisingly effective. Behold! The underestimated two-handed construction paper broadsword!" Grandma raised the weapon above her head and sliced clean through

it with ease. Grandpa & I sighed in relief. Finally it was all over. "What a woman I have!" Gramps hollered as he swept Grandma into his arms & kissed her passionately. The End.