I stood over the children—tears in their

I stood over the children—tears in their eyes, chocolate longing in their hearts—and I laughed. I said to them, "I have eaten all the cake!" None could defy my power, so I moved on

to the next item on my lesson plan, crossing off "Life isn't Fair." It was time for, "Be careful what you wish for." I asked Bobby to make a wish. "Pick something big, kid."

Bobby grinned, "OK, I wish I was the biggest boy in my class so nobody picks on me anymore." And poof! Just like that, Bobby was as big as a house. That wasn't quite what he wanted

, but despite that, everyone thought he was cool. Bobby felt better about being a giant, but also missed being short because now he was too big for Mama to hug and carry him.

Bobby was so big he could hug and carry Mama now, which gave him a little comfort at least. Still, he missed being comforted in her lap, especially since he kept bumping his head

swiftly with her shoe, leaving a large impact and mountain on his noggin.

The mountain was still on his forehead when they buried him later that year, and is now known as Mt. Fuji. She blamed the shoe that had put it there, so as not to admit that her

Sordid tea house that fleeced the pilgrims that flocked to the Holy Mountain. Then the shoe became a flophouse for floozys. Finally, it was an orphanage run by Old Mother Hubbard.

That failed like the other giant-shoe schemes. The shoe had a foul odor inside of toe jam and Fritos corn chips. The orphans revolted, hanging Mother Hubbard by a giant shoestring.