The day the roses turned black was the day

The day the roses turned black was the day that everything changed for us. We had only just recovered from

aphids when suddenly we were stricken with black mold. We had tried to telepathically communicate to our gardener that rose competitions and organic methods do not mix, but he

was a devout Catholic and thought demons were trying to possess his mind so the gardener

bought him a ouija board on april fools day. The day after he fired him. It was that day that the gardener planned to...

harvest fresh saffron from the crocus blooms, which were just starting to fade. It was an essential ingredient in my

famous meat pie. "There is nothing more expensive than Saffron," Jeremy exclaimed all of a sudden. I wasn't going to disagree with a hedgehog farmer so I simply nodded my head and

hummed a couple bars of 'Mellow Yellow' while I beheaded another hedgehog. This pie was going to be delicious! All it needed was

the hedgehog queen, but she wielded a magical scepter that guarded against my beheadings. She turned to face me, refusing to become pie filling. I jammed the grenade in the hole

and I braced for the impact. Nothing. I watched gratefully as she floated above me with that warm smile of hers. It was over. She knew she had won. That's all she ever wanted.