Frustrated that I cannot remember a simple

Frustrated that I cannot remember a simple word, I type 'that party thing stuffed with candy' into the search engine and facepalm when I see the results. A pinata! Of course! How c

ould I forget?

No. No, I could never forget, I would never forget. I never forgot anything, which was both a blessing and a curse. Like that time in high school when the principal asked

but the truth was that I had been making out with my girlfriend in the girl's bathroom. The hall patrol man gave me a ticket. It was the third one that week. "Detention," he said

"Is the gift that keeps on giving. And so is herpes. So I suggest you wrap it up, young soldier!" The hall patrolman had no game as he threw us both out of the girl's restroom into

the boys' restroom, which was so thick with smoke that we were able to escape unnoticed. We hitched a ride with a creepy old postman, who smelled like ammonia, and got out at

Blueberry Hill Station, where we busted open a vending machine and took 12 packs of Irish Bloodhound flavored condoms, filled them with urine and tossed them at the Catholic girls

Who, being an active Coven of La Madonna Negra, aka the Mother of Whores, were more than used to being covered in urine. It was the unwanted urine they didn't care for. Using the

urine in the compost first might be better, because the acidity isn't good for the plants you're growing, and your morning urine should have the most nutrients. You're in!