Okay, let me get this strait: I AM NOT A

Okay, let me get this strait: I AM NOT A CRIMINAL! Just because right now I'm in handcuffs in a police car on my way to jail does not mean I'm a criminal. I didn't kill no one!

The Grammar Police just placed me under arrest for using a double negative, that's all. And yeah, the Grammar Wizard is applying a red brand to my thigh, but don't go thinking that

will herd me into submission. I ain't 'fraid of no Grammar Goblins. I've been burnt by them before - accused of misplacing modifiers, mixing idioms, writing run-on sentences, but

I am the Shepherd of the Common-Usage Chimera's. While the Grammar Goblins line up for battle, I descend with army, tonight, in this wasteland, the final battle commences.

"I hated night fights," began QIliexnne suddenly out of nothingness, "the worst were night fights on a new moon, literally on a new moon or a new planet." Wllyy resigned herself to

listening to her bunkmate's rambling. Qlliex always got like this when the refugee ship entered a less starry span of space, & Wllyy loosed an involuntary sigh. "Am I boring you?"

, Qlliex asked Wllyy, but Wllyy only sighed again, pining for Princess Pia, the moonmaiden he had left in the previous universe. Secretly jealous, Qlliex spared him her feelings,

and grabbed the universal remote control. “Come on Wllyy, forget Princess Pia” said Qlliex “lets skip to the next universe”. Wllyy nodded glumly and Qlliex activated the portal.

With Qlliex gone, I was left on my own. Things could have been different with him, yet here we were.