"But professor, ma'am, you're half-asleep!"

"But professor, ma'am, you're half-asleep!" "Heh, I can do science in my sleep. Being merely half-asleep is just overkill." She tongued her lucky prosimian skull and mixed the blue

liquid with the other spectrum of colours. A rainbow of glowing light burst out of the test tube, and shimmered above the professor. Like a nightlight, it soothed her to sleep.

"Mom was right. I really shouldn't have had that sex-change operation," thought Professor Lulu Loomis, "I am even more confused now that when I had a prostate." Her mascara was

hed out & her soul patch showed. Chagrined, Lulu consulted the renowned Dr. Moodle: "Hmm, you were a man & now you miss it? Did you at least keep your dinkle?" It was in a safe dep

ot on the outskirts or Phnom Penh. Nobody would think to look there for his dinkle, he thought. Being an American, he wasn't so hot at Geography. He didn't know Thailand was next

in line on China's chopping block. What could he, a bag boy from Tulsa, without having memorized the positions of imaginary lines he never drove across on his 15-minute commute, do

but properly put the frozen items together in one bag and the refrigerated items in another. He paused for a second to consider which bag to put a greeting card into, before

a great calamity struck without warning. The sky was rent afire, explosions and blasts of lightning all but obliterating the landscape. He looked at his greeting card oddly. "Well,

at least I can know that someone cared about me before it was all over." He placed the card in his vest, over his heart, and walked toward the carnage.