He went to the foley stage. It was the last

He went to the foley stage. It was the last line he had to record for Rocky III. The director told Stallone, "This is where Clubber Lang hits you-" Stallone put his hand up, then

pushed his lips up in disgust. "I'm an Act-tor". Everyone had seen Rocky and watched in wonder as Stallone walked away with a statue, but nobody expected him to pimp it into

a career. I will say this for the Italian Stallion, his movies might be ultra-violent, but he manages to do it without showing one gratuitous female tit. Jean-Claude VanDamme could

learn a thing or two from Stallone. At least I didn't feel uncomfortable playing Sly's movies during family gatherings. Ultraviolence for children is a-okay. Sex? Not so much.

Gathered around the warm glow of that old idiot box, steaming eggnog wafting through the air, I still recall the most famous lesson of all: "They drew first blood, not me."

That was how the Hatfields spent every Christmas. Absolving themselves of responsibility for the 200+ year feud with the McCoys. Eventually egg nog led to corn liquor and

the uneventful Bingo game where the winner of each game would win a present personally picked out by Grandma Hat.

The bingo game presents were always chinsey though: a vinyl, gingham table cloth; a glue gun; and, invariably multiple pairs of UnderAlls. Debbie always won and used these items

on eBay, where she made her small fortune in the elderly market. Those old folks would buy just about anything, she realized. One day, though