I cant believe im actually after all the

I cant believe im actually after all the distractions, and road-blocks im finally here! But i have to give thanks to my friend Jameson who gave me the opportunity, if it wasn' for

him I would still be a limbless torso with just a sad nodding head. But Jameson, in a freakish act of devotion, donated his limbs to me gratis. They don't fit just right, the left

one is on backwards, but I'm not thumbs down. Once I was only a torso. Jameson & I had a ventriloquist act. He did the talkingI

begin to experience random spasms, as thumbs attached to robotic limbs often do. It is a shame that to get into anywhere nowadays, you must provide ID with your thumb. I knew a guy

and then I realized that I also knew another guy. Then like a bolt of lightning, I had an epiphany that all the guys I knew were guys. None of the gals I knew were guys and none of

guys I knew were gals. And that's when it hit me, I'm either gay or in the boy scouts. First thing to solve this was to

blow kisses to both guys and gals then wait to see who blew them back. I thought it was elementary school tactics like writing down, "do you like me?". What works once could again.

Purple penguins playing pokemon go were so distracted they walked right into traffic. They called them space cows after the new Deep Purple song and album. I laughed out loud. They

made delicious roadkill burgers, I decided, right before I passed out, giggling deliriously in the middle of the road.