"What's that smell?" Doug felt a stabbing

"What's that smell?" Doug felt a stabbing pain in his love handle. Mary Jane's smelly sneakers were right behind his oscillating fan! Dougy tried to distract Dick by claiming

he desired to engage in a temporary sexual encounter with Dick. "I'll be real quick, man" Doug said. "Strip down and put on these smelly sneakers. Let's go, Dick!" Soon Dick found

I was cut off by the sound of the mariachi band starting 2 belt out Happy Birthday. Once the sombrero was put on my head, I knew it was over. The stench of the salsa-shoes was gett

ing to my bunions, and my thighs burned from the chaffing of my Chubbies short short. Ugh, if ONLY I had worn my 80's parachute pants and Nike hot tops instead. The singing

was mass dope. We thought the dance party peaked during Ice Ice Baby until the DJ spun Ninja Rap. F*** yeah, Turtle power!, I ditched my Chubbies shorts and started break dancing

in my skivvies, much to the delight of everyone at the Ninja dance party. "Have you ever seen a turtle get down? Slammin, jammin to the new swing sound..." Splinter, unable to hold

his liquor said, "Listen dumb*****. I said to survive, you must master the ninja skills I taught you. Clearly you have not mastered the dance moves.Step aside." Rafael and Leonardo

were getting too close to the truth. Behind the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle story was a sick truth. It was dark, full of grease and metal behind the flashy lights and popcorn. Mast

or no mast, this ship had sailed. There was no grand exposé to be written about this travesty, no justice to be had by revealing the turtles' secrets. The only answer was silence.