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I was woken up by my fiance, a look of panic

  • I was woken up by my fiance, a look of panic on my face. He led me outside and pointed at the sky. I looked up to see that the earth had somehow acquired a second moon. It looked

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  • that way anyway. But as my fiance and I watched this supposed 'second moon' we noticed it was getting closer. Then we saw it wasn't a moon at all but a

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  • big pizza pie. We ducked for cover as the surrounding area was obliterated by scalding red sauce, pieces of meat and cheesy bread. Little Caesar had gone mad, laughing from his

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  • stainless steel countertop throne. "Now you know what I meant when I said 'HOT-n-READY!" Little Caesar screamed. Crouching behind the trash can, we realized we needed weapons.

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  • I took out my superduperpooperscooper and switched it from suck to blow and leveled it at Little Caesar. "Hot-n-Ready" this you crazy man. We charged hoping to make it safely to th

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  • e cracked pavement outside and three feet behind us, into the bedlam of the non-rush-hour traffic jams in this stinkhole we call the city. Little Caesar dialed the Pope™ and said,

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  • "Pizza, pizza!", and just like that, the Pope reached behind himself of the balcony, grabbed a pizza, and flew it like a Frisbee into Little Caesar's open mouth. The crowd gasped.

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  • The Pope bowed. The attendants standing behind him screamed as his skimpy robes rode up to reveal the frilly bloomers beneath.

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  • The Pope, like everyone, turned to see what all the screaming behind him was about. Thereby displaying his frilly bloomers to the world via satellite. Saint Peter's Cathedral was a

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  • travesty, a crime upon humanity, and a place that, well, you know the rest.

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