The gold I found in the purse under Mme de

The gold I found in the purse under Mme de Veau's pillow funded my lavish expedition to find the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary in its native habitat. My ship sailed from Constantinople

which became Instanbul after I returned. Damn. How do you like that, I leave for a week looking for the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary and my home town has a new name. Good grief!

But I consoled myself with attending to my new love. I planted the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary in my walled garden, in a large pit filled with rich compost. At dusk I would join her

grip their neck, and dig in with my nails. Their arms twitched, causing their candy-colored armwarmers to slip down on their wrists, revealing straight, symmetrical scars.

The Dark pie graph of Omar McCluskey as a tattoo had been a trend when she was a tweener. A trend that never found its patch outside those few blocks & those 6 weeks in 1973. Pie g

raphs must be baked carefully. First, preheat the oven to a ratio of 400:450:475 degrees, in accordance with how you've distributed the filling. Much easier than Venn diagram pies.

Then bake the pie graph for forty-five minutes, or until a fork pricked into 3/4s of the surface crust come out cleanly. Pie graph will be hot. Transfer from the oven to an easel

& hold in place with drawing pins. Using a slipstick & protractor, cut the pie graph into equal slices before serving a piece to the first person displaying a pair of compasses.

"Nice 'compasses'," they said, looking the pie participants up and down. Everyone enjoyed the pie, ignorant of the special ingredient that made it so flavorful...