It is the year 20XX and monsters have taken

It is the year 20XX and monsters have taken over the world. Monsters created by our own hand. They

snap their fingers & beckon us around a corner only to flip us off, then give us a thumbs up. The hand monsters appear behind our heads like rabbit ears & wrap their fingers around

remote controls and put on the Real Housewives of Las Vegas.

Before he tossed the remote at the TV, and broke the screen, to rid it of the garbage that was "Real Housewives of Las Vegas"

He said a quick prayer to the Goddess of unscripted television. "Dear Kim, please forgive me for what I am about to do." Staring at his now destroyed television, his wife asked him

a simple question. "True or false, hubby: the answer to this question is "false"". Sometimes, she would utter a paradox, and it would make him eat things. "I want to eat the t.v."

His wife threw her hands up, grunted, and left the room. He sat in the middle of the floor, chewing thoughtfully on the chair leg. "Needs salt." he said to himself. "And a touch of

oil, for the wood squeaks dreadfully between my teeth." Still, he was content, for after he'd consume enough of the furniture his transformation would finally begin.

Suddenly, there was a brilliant flash and a chorus of angels. His transformation complete, he stood before us all in his newfound glory. He was (dun dun dun!) THE CHAIRMAN!