He erotically caressed her nose. She sneezed

He erotically caressed her nose. She sneezed violently, sighed, & cuddled into a ball beside him. Ah, life was just about perfect.

The only thing that could of improved their evening was if the raging drone of his mother, sitting across the living room, mumbling as she clutched her brandy, would go far away.

Far away. Far Away, the liquor store a block and half south. She could pick them up a bottle of 100 proof whatever and they could fortify in the basement and play Xbox for the rest

She rode her bike down to the local Five n Dime, picked up two salted nut rolls, a snazzy leotard, and a traversable wormhole. Now all she had to do was trick the lazy slobs into

stepping into the wormhole, so they'd be sucked in with no hope of returning. She squeezed herself into the glittery, starry leotard and lured her tormentors with the salty snacks.

This was how Doctor Beverly Crusher seduced her victims. The only one to survive her sick seduction was a man named Jack Crusher, which led of course to Wesley. This is where

the story gets really weird. You see, when Wesley grew up, he moved to Beverly Hills & became a professional can crusher. His mother was pleased. Wesley had a dark secret, though.

He wanted to be an actress. Wesley got a big brake when he was elected Miss Recycling by his fellow can crushers. His costume won over the judges. Made entirely of recycled materia

ls, it consisted of 2 plastic bottle tops glued over his nipples. "A triumph of recycling, flesh and hair," was the judges' verdict & who are we to argue?