After the initial horror then embarrassment,

After the initial horror then embarrassment, Agent Chalmers was proud of his Zip Drive, installed after a urogenital incident on a field mission. The Chalmers Estate supplied him w

ith I.T. support which is critical when bodily functions are replaced by static technology. Sure, the Zip Drive genitalia was state of the art 10 years ago but now Agent Chalmers

knew that there would be compatibility issues with his zip drive. Most women had a USB 3 port. He wasn't going to risk dating a woman with a docking station. Trojans and viruses

Were so last year, and he wasn't going to risk it again. The viruses spread like wildfire, and the Trojans had holes in them. He put on his best skinny pants, and went to the Apple

orchard on farmer Mcgregors land. Mr Mcgregor grew poison apples for the evil queen and her Trojan horse and he needed to be stopped. He picked a can of herbicide and sprayed the

the horse to slow him down."Whoa, Nellie, whooooa," he crooned, while animal activists looked on, seething in rage. Now distracted from the real reason he was even there, he pulled

his iPhone from the secret compartment he had carved into the back of the horse's neck, took a photo of the animal activists, gave them all the finger, laughed, and then rode off.

Screw them he thought what a bunch of assholes judging him for riding a horse, eating horsemeat and wearing horsehair clothing. It wasn't like they were much better with all the

the grass and hay they ate. Maybe he was a cannibal horse, but you know what? Would any of those idiots in the stable know a damn thing about what it feels like to go to a sportsba