In front of the whole 4th Grade, Millard

In front of the whole 4th Grade, Millard said, "I know Santa's real because my mom would never lie to me." Later, when Laura showed him the entry for Santa Claus in the encyclopedi

a Millard was amazed by all the information and was eager to share it. The next day he relayed some of the 'facts' to his classmates & told the tale of a monkey named St Nicholas.

His classmates were not amused. "Santa isn't a monkey," the said. Ultimately, he became a social reject, and he found himself sitting in the snow every day after school instead of

inside at his desk. He thought if he sat out in the snow long enough, SantaMonkey would see him & whisk him off to the North Pole. THEN his classmates would know the truth! One day

a red&white striped banana fell from the sky as he sat there shivering. He looked up. Was it..? It WAS...it was SantaMonkey! He waved his arms back & forth in jublilation! Finally

a confirmed sighting! Nobody believed in SantaMonkey & here was the Crimson Simian flying over his head with eight tiny winged orangutans towing his sleigh. He picked up the banana

SantaMonkey howled epithets in his direct direction, but he couldn't hear them over the howling winds and his own cries of victory. If only he could summon another banana spear,

But no biggy, he still had his asparagus javelin which he'd stiffened with plaster of Paris. He hurled it at howling SantaMonkey. It pierced his right eye like King Harold at the

battle of Hastings as depicted in the Bayeux Tapestry. SantaMonkey was buried at Westminster Abbey. His body was exhumed, beheaded & thrown into a fen, like the other King Harold.