Who said I am pretty? Braids hang low like

Who said I am pretty? Braids hang low like willow trees. Eyes glossed over with innocence. My knees buckle everytime a guy waves at me. My skin is the posterboard for mother Africa

. I keep asking Mother Africa to not stick her post-it notes & memos on my face and other skin because: 1) I can't see; 2) I'm allergic to the glue; 3) drawing pins bloomin' hurt.

But Mother Africa pays me no heed. I am now mummified in Post-It notes and covered with hives and bleeding sores. Soon, this cocoon of adhesive squares will digest me and in eight

months I will be pregnant. The Xerox machine prophesied that I will give birth to, not a new king, but a new office manager. The old Office Mgr. sent a memo ordering the killing

of a 30-pack of Bud Light. While I was busy, I considered if I wanted to name my unborn Office Manager 'Mary' or 'Cynthia'. Mary's nicer, but Cynthia's more authoritative. Perhaps

It may not even be relevant. Once the elections are over, things will be in freefall. Black Friday no longer guarantees profits. It does trigger madness among the sheeple.

known as Pooh, but lived under the name of Saunders to throw off the naysayers. Being a stuffed bear, he had trouble understanding the outrage over Trigger having been stuffed. Roy

Orbisen had been stalking Pooh for over a year. Luckily, he died, thought Pooh. Just then, he could see Elmer Fudd in the distance. "What's HE doing in this story?" thought Pooh.

Pooh walked over to Elmer Fudd, just to hear him say "Be vewy vewy quiet." Then 'BAM!' Pooh fell over, and just before he died he heard Elmer blurt out: "I'm hunting bears."