The scattered Postman was sniffing envelopes

The scattered Postman was sniffing envelopes again. Jim hated that.

So he rewrote it. The scuttled Postman was snooping in envelopes when he was fired. But after 6 months without a job, the CIA contacted him. They needed envelope sniffers

. The Postman leaped at the chance! He needed the job & loved sniffing envelopes! His CIA code name was Olf (short for Olfactory) & his job was to sniff out traces of

brain blow out of its pan.In the course of a single hour, before perishing in violent conflict, Olf commandeered these vehicles respectively: an ambulance, a moped with dog inside,

a ailing hang-glider, a double-decker bus, a sports car, a police helicopter and a space hopper. It was atop this last majestic steed that of finally fell prey to a well-placed

but poorly-timed bald joke. "AAAAUGGGGHHH!!!" went Colin, as he pantomimed his way down off the pile of imaginary vehicles to fall flat on his face, his chrome dome shining bright

in the midday sun. He'd only recently started shaving his head again; something he could only do once he moved out of his mother's house to avoid her overbearing scrutiny. "You're

repulsive and you need to be more socially active," the woman who'd never had a consistent friend in her life would chide. What did she know about being "socially active," the

recluse nothing but time to judge others while she sat alone in her home, only her cats to keep her company. It was a shame really, because deep down, I wanted her to like me.