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Clawing her way upward, Chloe reached the

  • Clawing her way upward, Chloe reached the top. Nails torn, knees bloodied, but she was safe. Now for the real challenge-- Hindu.

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  • Chloe wasn't sure she'd got what it takes to be a Hindu. Say what you like about monotheistic religions, it's easy to memorise how many gods there are (1 fyi). The hundreds of gods

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  • intimidated her. But she loved Ravi so they planned their Wedding in Malayalampapalayalam. The ceremony lasted 3 days. When the priest said she needed to name at least 20 Gods to

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  • 30 Gods. She only knows one God, the son, the father and the holy ghost. The priest whistled and said, "You have failed." She would never marry Ravi Shankar, the celebrated

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  • weasel hunter. Her heart sank the priest's news that her marriage to Ravi was forbidden broke her mind and she began paint images of pink weasels on every government building. She

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  • also put out an all-sitar protest album entitled "Pink Weasels Will Not Allow Me to Marry Ravi" and it became an overnight sensation even though it wasn't very good. The priest who

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  • had agreed to officiate pulled out at the last second to take sitar classes. Luckily, the pink weasels were distracted by their newfound star power, and Ravi agreed to marry if

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  • They played in his orchestra and abided by his rules only. That was the sticking point, now that the 500 and 1000 rupee banknotes were banned and being replaced with barcoded money

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  • All their money that they had been under the bed was now the bed but it was all in those forbidden denominations. They debated whether to lose some of it to pay to have it taken in

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  • ...actually, they hated "debating," especially when the topic was money...roll...bread...BANK. But, come on! 13 dollar bills with naked octogenarians isn't real money...is it?

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