Nola charged 2 bits per kiss, with all the

Nola charged 2 bits per kiss, with all the money going to Charity. Charity was her pimp. The two had met in Bible College, and it wasn't long before Nola was leaning against a pew,

with her hand in the offering plate. If the church elders had kept a locked box in the back, they wouldn't have to worry about Nola taking Charity for herself.

Clearly charity begins at home, and Nola was close to losing hers. Just as she was about to grab from the charity plate, someone

put a pink Sysco urinal cake on the plate. She withdrew her hand, not knowing what it was, but was intrigued by it's scent, which reminded her of

her husband's mouth. The Sysco urinal cake had black hairs on it. Extremely kinky hairs. She was not sure why it was on the plate, but she knew it would not be a good omen for

any forthcoming cuisine. If the chef was this confused, god only knew what else was cooking. Hairy urinal cakes were not her notion of a proper desert; whether on a fancy plate or

au naturel (that was the chef's terminology for "still in the urinal"). She called over the waiter and demanded to speak to the manager. When he arrived, the manager turned out to

be her old boyfriend from high school. He had dumped her for the head cheerleader. She had never forgiven him and was not thinking of changing her mind NOW... This was too much!

Pouring pig's blood on her like that. Wait, wasn't blood red? This was white and sticky. She could remember the entire class laughing at her. Oh, April Fool's day, so harmless

Elmers glue on the head was just an funny prank.She got her revenge though.A little superglue during a game of twister resulted in a human moebius strip- a lesson that really stuck