"Your Honor, My client is innocent of the

"Your Honor, My client is innocent of the charges filed. He was in a car accident and lost his left arm. The arm donor was a notorious shoplifter so you see he couldn't help it."

"Will the defendent approach the stand and raise your right hand?" The transplanted right arm flipped off the Bailiff and took a swing at the Judge. "Get that rightwing

nut tightened or it’s contempt!” the judge warned.“Your honor, may Dr. Frankenstein approach the defendant?” “Yes, dammit!” the judge shouted. Dr. F torqued the right arm 4.4 kgf m

-aking the Monster's right hand rise. The clerk: "Do you swear to tell the truth, so help you God?" The monster looked at his creator, Dr. Frankenstein.

Frankenstein nodded ever so slightly so the monster took the bible and tore it in two. The clerk took it for an affirmation and motioned the monster to sit down. He sat on a tack

nuts have better exfoliating properties" the masseuse retorted. Judge Brown looked in horror as they used the dozen glazed as bacne scrubbers- he got his witness, BUT AT WHAT COST?

"STOP!" Judge Brown snapped. "Bailiff, bring me the donuts!" He peered at one. "Is that skin or glaze?" "Meh." He took a big bite. The bacne'd monstrosity imprinted on the judge

As he ate the boxes of discarded doughnuts piled by the desk. Sugar made him feel better, merciful almost. but not quite. "Sentence to scrub barraks toilets for a year!" he said

with sprinkles and crumbs showering from his chunky maw. Talking while eating made him sound like he said, "Scabbards to lips from ear!" A lethal backfire, to put it "bluntly".