I realized the only way to reclaim my manhood

I realized the only way to reclaim my manhood would be to report the two military drones to his and her superiors for their illegal substance abuse, but contacting them was harder

than a witch's tit at midnight. Those Military drones had seen fit to scramble my signals to the Sexless Ones. I threw up my deflector that I'd made out of a SPAM can and

did a quickie onceover visual scan for black heleecopters. You could never see them but I could almost always hear em just out of sight. The black buzzards'd met their match this

Super Bowl when we nuked the shit out of those Hawaiian bitches!

Unfortunately for mankind, one of the volcanoes located there held a secret energy source, which reacted by multiplying the diameter of the nukes devastation considerably. The

A week later, he regretted his premature gloating. Human civilization, he was informed, had self-annihilated. The astronaut cried as he looked at images of the historic landmarks,

that were now piles of ash and memories. "Why did I say that?" the astronaut sobbed to himself, reminiscing about the good old times when there were humans all over the planet.

The astronaut cried for what seemed like eons. "It is not good that I am alone," he prayed. "God, give me a perfect companion. Amen" God did. The astronaut opened his eyes & saw

Sandra Bullock. "Oh no!" Astronaut thought. Then out of no where, his space station blew up for no reason and the world's most boring movie was made.