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The 'X' is silent in 'Grand Prix?' I always

  • The 'X' is silent in 'Grand Prix?' I always thought it was aptly named. I am speaking from my bass instincts.

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  • Largemouth bass are reknown for their love of motors sports and double entendres, and I am no exception to that rule. For example I noticed that zooplankton rhymes with

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  • "Sue spanks on" the slightest provocation when I tittered, "it must be awfully hard to be a winning driver with all that stiff competition," but I have no buttocks, being a bass.

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  • Sue spanked my tail, but really I was more worried about the fact that I was suffocating. "If you want me to help you win the race" I said. "You have to put me in the water." Sue

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  • gave me a "are you kidding me?" look, but, seeing she couldn't win a stare contest with a fish, decided to chuck the creature into the water.

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  • Big mistake. Yes, it needed air to survive. But for some unknown reason fury had found its way into the fish's lungs, giving it strength and agility and enough oxygen to leap out

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  • of the window and into Mrs. Maxwell's martini. The alcohol burned the fish's scales as he stared into a huge green eye that turned out to be the olive. The fish leapt out of the

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  • window into her mind. The fish recognized her mind for what it was & turned out to be quite adept in making it bend to his will. That is as far as the fish took it though, Mrs. Max

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  • began looking at the fish like he belonged in a pan on her stove. When Mrs. Max pulled a fry pan from her cupboard and walked toward the fish, the fish started to stink defensively

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  • and glared at her with its flat silver eye. Mrs. Max placed a peg over her nostrils, tossed the fish into the pan and began frying up dinner. The family complimented her cooking.

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2 Comments

  1. iTeoti May 08 2018 @ 19:56

    He never even won the race...

  2. iTeoti May 08 2018 @ 19:58

    If only he could’ve controlled Mrs. Max as well as Mrs. Maxwell.

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