32

The Ratgod checked his Chinese horoscope

  • The Ratgod checked his Chinese horoscope for 2013 and learned, to his dismay, that this is the year he would most likely experience loneliness.

    3
  • "It is decided! I will find a Ratgoddess," said Ratgod. He forced a slew potential suitors, in Reality TV fashion, to dance off in the sewer to Ratatat. One by one, they disappoint

    5
  • ed him and he'd hand them a stinking rose (garlic bulb) smooshed with fresh feces. Just three Ratgoddess contestants remained. The Ratgod announced: "Excellent! Now it is time for

    4
  • the next challenge" The 3 Ratgoddesses, were put in a London sewer & had to get out via a toilet s-bend. Biting a toilet occupant on re entry gave a bonus. 1 contestant drowned so

    4
  • so and another contestant was poisoned sort of blase. "This game sucks" thought Derek and he through the controller right in the toilet. This XBOX he'd bought in Tiajuana was

    2
  • as stoned as Lebowski. "XBox gotta be clean," he moralized as he torched the abandoned church. He had placed the console on the deteriorating altar and performed a makeshift rite

    3
  • To cleanse the Xbox of evil spirits and install the altar with new Esoteric symbols. There were six of them. One was a box of aconite powder.

    2
  • The 2nd item of the 6 that would be needed was a wet moon puddle. 3rd: A newspaper announcing Mandela's death sometime in the 80s while still in prison. 4th: Custer's Army Dismissa

    3
  • l due to halitosis, and 6th: Dame Edna's birth certificate. Armed with these items I made the celebrity circuit, shocking audiences everywhere with my evidence. But Perry Mason

    3
  • haunts my dreams. He knows the real me, the truth of my core; my very being. If only I could have shared more with his dynamic and lively personality

    3

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!