Starbucks was crowded with folks sucking

Starbucks was crowded with folks sucking down overpriced decaf lowfat latte somethings as they met for the first time. He recognized her instantly. She was dressed as a cow and

on the verge of a heat stroke. The only drink they had was hot coffee. "Hey Susie, the grass says, 'Don't graze me, bro.'" Susie handed him a flier for Moolattes and tipped over.

The Hippie cows were on the greatest trip of their lives until the agents of the House of Un-Dairy Activities showed up. These cows had crewcuts, black-framed glasses and smoked

Camels to be ironic. The Bovine SWAT team infiltrated the tie-dyed herd and caught the pot ruminating commies. "Moooove it!" the lead Red Bull bellowed.

Let me tell you, I took one look at that situation and got the hell out of dodge. These eyes have seen one too many power tripping talking bulls to want try my hand at resistance.

Zombies rip inot the poor little children as if a homeless person was served and happy meal. I stood there in fear and amazment. I finally turned around and

met Dumplo the dog, a costumed mascot who sold really, really good furniture. Neverminding the children-eating zombies, I instead sought after a particularly comfortable

recliner chair with remote control and back massage, preferably 20 different programs. Yes, my back was killing me lately. I'd been forced to bend over because women these days

are too damn educated to know there place. Take my wife for example. CEO of her own company. A miserable workaholic if I ever... Come to think of it stay at home dad ain't so bad.