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He stood in my backyard wading pool with

  • He stood in my backyard wading pool with his slicked back hair, chino cut-offs, Rage Against the Machine shirt, Marlboro cigarettes, and rubber-foam Hulk hands. "Miss me baby?"

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  • Bad timing. The Wedding party was in full swing, I'd just married Rob & here was Brad his "I'll never grow up" highschool buddy & my former BFWB to crash the party with hulk hands?

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  • The Chicken Dance gave way to Brown Eyed Girl as I looked at Rob; Rob looked at Brad; and Brad looked at me. Grabbing a top-layer handful of fondant over lemon cake, I rushed from

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  • the castle's kitchen to bring Miss Sansa her lemon cakes.she's not that sweet,you know...Rob found his sward right in time to help Brad stop the girl from poisoning

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  • the old hag. He wasted no time, moving forward and lunging at the girl, as she

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  • nibbled her hallucinogenic root. He saw her eyes change through every shade of colour in the spectrum & beyond. "Give me that root!" he cried. The girl

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  • skittered away. The hallucinogenic root was out of reach. "Blast it! Give me the root or I will leave you here to rot!" The threat was flimsy however, as the girl was the one with

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  • out the map to find her way out of the Bad JuJu Forest. "Nope," I replied calmly, then took the root & swallowed it whole before I realized what I'd done. Almost immediately, I

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  • felt thick branches painfullly coming up from my stomach to my throat and finally to my mouth. I gagged. I was turning into a tree.

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  • When completely metamorphosed, I changed my name to Gregor Samsa and got a job providing shade to people outside of the Franz Kafka museum in Germany. Finally a good paying job!

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