He stood in my backyard wading pool with

He stood in my backyard wading pool with his slicked back hair, chino cut-offs, Rage Against the Machine shirt, Marlboro cigarettes, and rubber-foam Hulk hands. "Miss me baby?"

Bad timing. The Wedding party was in full swing, I'd just married Rob & here was Brad his "I'll never grow up" highschool buddy & my former BFWB to crash the party with hulk hands?

The Chicken Dance gave way to Brown Eyed Girl as I looked at Rob; Rob looked at Brad; and Brad looked at me. Grabbing a top-layer handful of fondant over lemon cake, I rushed from

the castle's kitchen to bring Miss Sansa her lemon cakes.she's not that sweet,you know...Rob found his sward right in time to help Brad stop the girl from poisoning

nibbled her hallucinogenic root. He saw her eyes change through every shade of colour in the spectrum & beyond. "Give me that root!" he cried. The girl

skittered away. The hallucinogenic root was out of reach. "Blast it! Give me the root or I will leave you here to rot!" The threat was flimsy however, as the girl was the one with

out the map to find her way out of the Bad JuJu Forest. "Nope," I replied calmly, then took the root & swallowed it whole before I realized what I'd done. Almost immediately, I

felt thick branches painfullly coming up from my stomach to my throat and finally to my mouth. I gagged. I was turning into a tree.

When completely metamorphosed, I changed my name to Gregor Samsa and got a job providing shade to people outside of the Franz Kafka museum in Germany. Finally a good paying job!