Melodramatic Martha, my dear, tonight is

Melodramatic Martha, my dear, tonight is your night. I've been grinding away, thinking about your small flower print dress and buttermilk biscuit ankles, tonight I will hang

an 8er on that bootie, WOOO! Melodramatic Martha, you got a date tonight! Yeah! WOOO! He slid some butter and a honey bear on the table and adjusted his cape. Whoa! She'd be here

with tits on! WHOOO! Yeah, bro! Man, let's choke down some brewskies! Beer pong! YEAH! Melodramatic Martha and her date showed up and it was CARAZAY, you know what I'm sayin'?

Marvin put his bags on the bottom bunk, looked at his new roommate Brad's crotch - about at eye level and said, "I came to Clemson to study, not to cavort with the natives."

Brad was majoring in nude modeling for Clemson art majors. "I'm so sure I'll pass, I didn't pack any clothes," he told Marvin. Nudist versus Prudist, who will blink first? Marvin.

Brad threw himself into nude modelling. One pose: leg behind his head with grapefruit balanced on his knee won him a distinction. But then Marvin signed up & sat glowering in he fr

Gloaming and watering fake plastic trees. Parallel botany was Dr. Dhtfishi's specialty, from the University of Sjrfukgfok. He was world famous for his detailed study of Stranglers.

And out of all the Stranglers that Dr. Dhtfishi had studied, the Tattletale Strangler was the most fascinating test subject/specimen. He then affectionately called it "SpongeBob."

"SquarePants is the name. Patty flipping's my game!"