Full of charisma and charm, that's how the

Full of charisma and charm, that's how the news described him. None the less, sweat beaded his brow as he stepped to the podium and the eyes of the crowd turned to him. "I am here

to say that research now shows that animals fed genetically engineered food suffer a wide range of maladies including near complete sterility by the third generation." The crowd he

was lecturing gasped in shock at his claims that animals fed with genetically modified food became sterile. "It's true" he insisted. "My dog is now sterile and I intend to sue!"

Sometimes a man just needs to yell out for the pork. He understood and gave me a what's up nod. I put out my hand to shake his. He fist bumped me instead.

So I gave him a Glaswegian kiss. Job done, I offloaded the pork onto a fishmonger who knew how to handle hot meat. A couple of tanks of hydrochloric acid later & it was reinvented

as a sort of hot meat pocket. Now it just needed a name. I knew a guy who I'd traded Jamaican donuts with once after a long night of drinking. He was great with names. I asked him

what he though I should call my meaty invention. Since we had last talked, he had taken to the streets. He talked to God and preached gospel on street corners. He said only two wor

k practices were guaranteed to get him back off the streets. One was bovine dentistry and the other (slightly more dangerous) involved

breeding and birthing, where one has to be careful of his stance. Those babies really kick! Anyway, I convinced my friend, and that heifer was soon off to find his moo calling.