The soft pecking that used to be such a comfort

The soft pecking that used to be such a comfort was now an annoyance. It sounded like a jackhammer piercing the concrete. It's always the same thing! Peck peck peck. EVERY-DARN-DAY

All the people I contacted could not help me. I didn't want it to come to this, but I cant sleep let alone think straight. The next day I went to a g

first try to define what my problem is. It is related to this bloated feeling from eating the Matterhorn. Seven scoops is a lot of icecream to eat even if you just had your tonsils

elongated to allow you to swallow more ice cream at once. I also got a cheek implants and an extra mouth. I was able to eat an entire ice cream wedding cake in just

under 39 seconds, almost beating Julia Roberts' record. But she had an unfair advantage; a genetic freak, she could unhinge her jaw, which allowed her to devour entire

casting agencies...unless they gave her the roles she wanted. Sure, her unhinged jaw could be a problem during love scenes, but they had to keep her happy or else she'd

really become unhinged. It was maddening for her, but at times it could be helpful. Not everyone could fit an entire avocado into one's mouth at once, for instance. Her gaping maw

also exerted a powerful suction force when applied to, for example, a tough lid on a jam jar. Jam lovers, globally, sent her their most stuck jars for her unique mouth magic.

I could open my mouth pretty wide, too, but my special oral talent had nothing to do with grip or friction for opening jars. But I do love to be in a jam!