Wow. I hate it when FS website changes on

Wow. I hate it when FS website changes on you w/o warning. Deep down, I know people like my folds, but I need the satisfaction of seeing it, right there. I'm needy. I dont like cha

nge, that is why I still drive my Saturn S-series and text using a flip phone. Not at the same time that would be as reckless as making changes to FS homepage with consulting me!

The rest of my life was still ahead of me though. I changed the course of history by deciding to live in 1994. I unfortunately never thought of hanging on to any winning lottery

Tickets. But I checked them nightly. The Nokia phone I loved lasted 22 years, before I replaced it in November 2016. They were much better made then and I bought ten in 1994.

Counting 2016, the 10 nokias lasted for 12 years, 1.2 years per nokia, amazing! But Black Friday was predicted to be the next day, so I went to Wallmarts to watch the mayhem.

Splitting my consciousness into so many different views was difficult, but Black Friday was too good to miss. Omniscience was truly a gift, but was also a burden when combined with

my love of surprises. Now that I had omniscience I always knew what people were going to give me for my birthday and who was going to pop in for a visit. Life became a tedious

episode of interminable déjà vu. I had to stop knowing everything. Hitting myself in the head with a rubber mallet helped for a minute. Perhaps a lobotomy would do the trick.

But my story doesn't end with a lobotomy, it ends with me front of a keyboard, under a patio umbrella, sipping lemonade, cooking burgers on the grill & pressing "Fold & Pass".