When Angela traveled all the way to Ukraine

When Angela traveled all the way to Ukraine for her knee operation, she had no idea that both her patellas would be replaced by equal sized spheres of critically enriched uranium.

Sure, now she could walk. However, the strain of keeping her Ukrainian critically enriched uranium sphere patella replacements far enough apart to not cause a one megaton fission

was wreaking havoc on her hips. She had to walk like a duck to prevent self-destruction. Wearing stilettos was no longer easy, but as a hooker, she could hardly give them up.

She was waddling down the avenue one evening, while onlookers whistled and honked at her. She nearly tripped over her own stilettos when someone called her a "quack job."

She ignored it and started walking faster, But lost it when one of them sneaked up behind her and grabbed her ass. "how dare you?", she turned and hit him with her purse.

The explosion leveled three city blocks. She had forgotten that her combat purse was armed, neglecting the first rule of handbag safety. Don't let this happen to you. Questions?

Eastern Europe, easily discernible just by looking at his stone-like gaze and robotic movement. Reliable enough to detonate a bomb, but leaving all kinds of mess behind him which

John Stewart felt had happened after a big greasy Applebee's breakfast platter. John needed a John, but this was Eastern Europe and well, public restrooms hadn't been invented yet.

He went out & used the horse trough like everyone else.The wind sliced from the steppes so he jammed his bearskin hat back on walked off. The horses look at each other unimpressed.