Camping in the Yard in summer was great,he
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Camping in the Yard in summer was great,he thought lying in his tent.Then heard droplets trickle on the tent wall.Was it rain?Someone giggled. It was piss! He reached for the taser
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and promptly sent 50,000 volts directly into the perpetrator's wang. The blinding flash and shower of sparks was almost as impressive as his cousin Tony's scream. He yelled "Why'd
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you do that to me?!" His voice was filled with pain. He laughed, impressed with his tactics of stopping Tony. He hadn't realized it would be such an amazing light show! He replied,
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Led Zepplin Forever Maaaaaaaan!" Then ripped off his stretch pants and tried to grab the laser beams. Tony reached up to stop him and grabbed a nasty handful of
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tentacles. He pulled. Hard. The tentacles broke off, splattering green blood all over him. Grossed out, Tony let go of the tentacles and threw up. That was a mistake. His opponent
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was a creature that thrived on vomit and the contact with his puke just made the beast evolve into a meaner and bigger monster. This was like horror pokemon. I turned the tv off.
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There has to be something better I can do on a rainy Saturday. I've already dressed up the cats in their village people couture that I bought on EBay, the house was clean, the free
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cheese I got from the government I placed out as appetizers. I dressed up in my best cocktail apron and waited for the guests to arrive as my trained kittens softly mewed YMCA.
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Unfortunately, a thread from my cocktail apron caught on a loose nail as I came through the door from the kitchen. I tripped over my kittens an went flying face first into
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the black hole, apron strings streaming behind and mewling kittens tumbling all around me into the abyss.When I gained consciousness I found myself in Willie Nelson's garage. Cool.
4
- Started
- 2011-09-27 16:53:37
- Finished
- 2012-11-20 08:41:10
3 Comments
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PurpleProf Nov 20 2012 @ 09:07
Epic! An entirely plausible tale...
SlimWhitman Nov 20 2012 @ 11:25
Which part is more plausible, the part about the puke-eating tentacle monster, or the dinner host who falls into a black hole and ends up in Willie Nelson's garage? ;-)
PurpleProf Nov 20 2012 @ 14:10
Definitely the tentacle monster. I am not a Willie Nelson fan. He just happened to be on the Today Show this morning when I was typing this. I'd more likely be found in Steven Tyler's kitchen.