The following narrative was found written

The following narrative was found written on a bank statement envelope in the back pocket of a miscreant youth in Arkham, MA. Near the end the writing becomes an illegible scrawl.

Which is how President Bush signed every bill into law. But on a bill for children to receive free toilet paper in public school, W had decided to write a novel. The first line

of coke W did off his secretary's tits was for inspiration; the second was for stamina. W's novel had to be the best. Just really really good. Like so good, that it would make good

look mediocre. He was on a roll. What a great book jacket text! People were gonna eat his stuff up. At book signings with adoring female fans he planned to write "Big W loves you

like it's 1999." Except he got mixed up & wrote "Big W loves you like its 1919." His female fans naturally thought he was referring to the creation of the League of Nations & made

They had known this three years earlier. Woolworth's was banished to the Land of Demolished Retailers. The crash of overvalued stock shares was heard all over Wall Street and then

The screaming started. That briefcase they left behind in the Woolworths had the controls to this realm & when it was sent to the Land of Demolished Retailers it crossed into anoth

-er intersection without looking both ways and was run over by an obsolete truck. From that moment on, we have had to be masters of our own fate, whether we knew it or not. Let us

never forget the moral of this story, which is... WHOOOOSH! SCREEEEEEECH. thump. "ARGGGUUGUGGGH! ahhhh...." (whimper) "Honk...if you love...Jesus..."